Do. Don’t Hope
How often have you heard someone say “I hope this works out”. When we rely too much on hope we give up too much control. And it’s feeling out of control that is the number one reason people feel stressed. We need to be able to identify what we control, even if it’s just a tiny bit, and do something with that little bit.
source: Cobalt
Here’s an example. We have a client who has a difficult employee. Our client is stuck with the employee for the moment. There is just no way to fire the person. Our client could hope for a number of things to happen, a miracle turnaround, for example. But that’s not the way it’s going to be. So we are coaching our client to control the part of the situation that they do control before resorting to hope.
One thing our client controls, for sure, is themselves. So that’s the starting point of a plan. Let’s start with a list of Can Do’s.
- Give the employee a chance to succeed by ensuring they know what is expected. That is, talk to them.
- Try to negotiate a workable compromise with the employee by asking about their perceptions of the situation. Once again,
starting a conversation is the first step and it is a controllable action. - Ask for help. Our client could talk to other people who may have advice for dealing with a difficult employee. Once again,
talking is key. - Research more options. Our client could go to the internet and search out information about their alternatives.
The thing about all four of these options is that they are steps our client Can Do unilaterally with resorting to hope that their employee will change.
So a lesson here is to look for actions you yourself can take when faced with a difficult situation or person. There’s an old saying; “the harder I work, the luckier I get”. Maybe the analogy is ” the more I try the more my hopes come true”.
I’m reminded of something my friend Valerie Walls once said, “I always think there’s hope. That’s probably half of my problem in life.”
