Focus Confidence Momentum

Lao Tzu said “What’s in the Way, Is the Way”. When you identify the barriers that you are struggling to overcome then you’ve overcome the first struggle. Once you know ‘what’s in the way’ you can line up the barriers and start overcoming them.

There Are No Small Parts is a well-known theatre slogan. It means that every role is important. But life isn’t the theatre. And there are small parts in real life. More importantly, there are big parts.

Momentum comes from spending time with the big, the most important, parts.

Here’s how:

Make a list of everything that is going on in your life.
- Order into more important and less important. Put the top five most important items on a three by five card. Include something from your work, family and personal lives on this card to help you move towards work life balance and harmony.

Make decisions without wasting energy.
- Consciously think about the decisions you need to make now. Take these steps:

• Focus in a quiet space
• Gather information
• Make a pro/con list
• Ask your gut for its feel
• Then decide.

- For other decisions make a list [we like lists]. Keep it handy. Only look at it occasionally and your subconscious will help you decide.

Compare your vision and your schedule.
- Take some time to compare what you are actually doing to your vision. Take note of everything you do that’s not helping you reach your vision. The best way to stay on-vision is to fill up your calendar with actions that contribute to reaching your vision.

Use other people for good feedback.

- In a safe way and in a safe environment ask for others to help you understand yourself better. Let them know what your goals are. Ask them what they see that is working and what isn’t. Ask them to help you discern between what’s important and what isn’t.

It is smart to recognize which bits of change are evolutionary and which are revolutionary and act accordingly.

Tune your change. Evolutionary change ought to be gradual and steady. Revolutionary change ought to be absolute. Either done wrong dilutes the value of the change and may be stressful.

Here are some examples:

1. Choosing to exercise is both revolutionary and evolutionary. When you start, going from no exercise to some exercise, that’s a revolution. You need to do something radical to jump start the process, like hiring a personal trainer and paying them in advance. As you start to exercise you evolve in the way you exercise, going from easy, to moderate and so on. Typically, if you start exercising too vigorously, you’ll burn out quickly and be back to your old ways. Revolution doesn’t work when evolution is needed.
2. The way you manage your time is the result of a number of habits and personal policies. To change the way you deal with time you’ll have some evolutions and some revolutions. The evolutions will include the way you handle people, meetings and interruptions. You can’t have a revolution when other people are involved. The revolutions might be in the way handle technology; voice mail, email and your computer. For example an excellent way for many people to manage time is to manage interruptions differently.
3. Certain relationships need evolutionary change and others need revolutionary change. Typically relationships you want to grow will do best with evolutionary change. Typically the relationships you want to reduce will require a revolutionary adjustment. That is you’ll be cutting something out.
4. If you are coaching someone this is an important concept to use to bring the right intensity to the right activity. For example, say you are working with someone whose three year vision is quite different from where they are now. As you create a plan together you need to articulate which revolutionary changes need to be implemented and which evolutionary changes need to be seeded and cultivated.

You know what wind chill is. The thermometer says 3 degrees but it feels like minus 10 because it is windy.

Source: Zixi

Wind chill affects situations we have in our lives. You know, there’s a difficult situation you can handle but then wind chill arrives and suddenly the situation could be too much for you. Failure to deal with wind chill makes things worse.

Some examples:

• You’re busy and need to focus. Then a co-worker asks you to do them a favour. Because you can’t say no, you say yes, and suddenly you’re even further behind. Your inability to say no at critical times is wind chill.
• You have a plum project, but you need help. A co-worker with whom you have had a disagreement in the past is not so busy and could share the work. You would normally delegate to the co-worker in this position but you still hold a grudge. You do the project yourself and don’t do it so well. Holding onto anger too long is wind chill.
• You are offered a new job in your organization. You have no idea whether to take it because you’ve shied away from mentoring and setting career goals. You can’t make a decision and lose the opportunity. Your lack of goals and direction is wind chill.
• You have an unresolved argument with your partner before going to work. At the office that day you make a substantial error with an angry client. Bad news. Unresolved personal problems are wind chill.
• Talking on the phone while you are driving is wind chill.

How to deal with wind chill.

1. Awareness of what is or could be wind chill is the most important step.
2. Keep track of when wind chill is affecting you. Find out what kinds of things in your life are wind chill. Make a list so you can be aware.
3. When you are doing something that could be worsened by wind chill, pause and deal with the wind chill.
4. When you have an important event scheduled that could be affected by wind chill, handle it, before going on to your important event.

How often have you heard someone say “I hope this works out”. When we rely too much on hope we give up too much control. And it’s feeling out of control that is the number one reason people feel stressed. We need to be able to identify what we control, even if it’s just a tiny bit, and do something with that little bit.

source: Cobalt

Here’s an example. We have a client who has a difficult employee. Our client is stuck with the employee for the moment. There is just no way to fire the person. Our client could hope for a number of things to happen, a miracle turnaround, for example. But that’s not the way it’s going to be. So we are coaching our client to control the part of the situation that they do control before resorting to hope.

One thing our client controls, for sure, is themselves. So that’s the starting point of a plan. Let’s start with a list of Can Do’s.

1. Give the employee a chance to succeed by ensuring they know what is expected. That is, talk to them.
2. Try to negotiate a workable compromise with the employee by asking about their perceptions of the situation. Once again,
   starting a conversation is the first step and it is a controllable action.
3. Ask for help. Our client could talk to other people who may have advice for dealing with a difficult employee. Once again,
   talking is key.
4. Research more options. Our client could go to the internet and search out information about their alternatives.

The thing about all four of these options is that they are steps our client Can Do unilaterally with resorting to hope that their employee will change.

So a lesson here is to look for actions you yourself can take when faced with a difficult situation or person. There’s an old saying; “the harder I work, the luckier I get”. Maybe the analogy is ” the more I try the more my hopes come true”.

I’m reminded of something my friend Valerie Walls once said, “I always think there’s hope. That’s probably half of my problem in life.”

I got this wise advice: Staying Up(beat) in a Down Market, from Mark Maraia a coach in Denver. Here’s an excerpt.

Another way to stay “up” is to channel the fear into something constructive. Let’s say your practice has come to a grinding halt because of the current marketplace dynamics. The work in your area just isn’t there. Fear is inevitable. The natural tendency for most of us is to hibernate in our office and wait for the phone to ring. That inactivity will likely make our fear worse! A better course of action is to start calling more clients, prospects, and contacts with the mindset that YOU want to help THEM. There may very well be a voice in your head screaming: “Help them! What about me?!?” If that raucous voice comes to mind, just notice it and keep dialing the number.

My friend Eric Fraterman, has written this communiqué

1. Love your loyal customers
   This is the time to make sure your loyal and profitable customers have no reason to question your value. Love them and appreciate them.
2. Distance yourself from unprofitable customers
   This is the perfect time and excuse to let your unprofitable customers go. You can no longer afford to waste resources on them. These resources are better served reaffirming your love for your profitable customers.
3. Review complaints to add value
   Look for clues and cues in customer complaints and act quickly to add value to your customers. Added value does not have to be costly.
4. “How can we help?”
   Your customers are facing tough times as well. Speak with them about their problems. Look for ways to help them. They will appreciate the willingness and efforts in these trying times. You will build loyalty and equity in times when other vendors might disappear.
5. Innovation now
   Necessity is not only the mother of all invention, it is also the mother of innovation. Creativity can substitute the need to spend heavily. What can you innovate for your customers quickly that will surprise them? When was the last meeting you conducted to seek such ideas?
6. Emotional engagement does not cost money
   Caring comes from the heart, not from the budget. You can go a long way to build loyalty by simply unleashing the power of emotional engagement.
7. Training
   This is the fastest way to differentiation. Your employees are still the best asset to create a difference. If you have a little budget, use it to train and refresh their commitment and solicit ideas to create a difference for each customer.