Focus Confidence Momentum

Assertiveness is a good growth opportunity for many people. Assertive is the right way to be. Passive and Aggressive is wrong. Assertive typically is acting with respect for yourself and your listener. Briefly, in practice, it means saying what you mean frankly.

People are typically best Assertive in certain situations. For example, I have a General Manager client who is Assertive with the sales force he manages. That’s because he’s a graduate of the sales force and has lots of experience in that arena. He tends to be Passive with other people, those who report to him in non sales roles and peers who are also managers.

It’s important to watch how you act in your best Assertive role so you can replicate in other situations in which you have less experience.

One reason people need coaching and mentoring is that they are constantly being buffeted by unexpected and unplanned events, interruptions and new desires. Most executives can control themselves, their actions and their agendas but it needs a lot of ruthlessness, impulse control and interpersonal skill to do it well. A mentor can provide energy to help control and, possibly, benefit from a vibrant environment.

If you are a mentor and your mentee needs you to give them energy to stay on track; here are three ideas for you.

a] Plan with them and reinforce their plan every time you meet. Nothing holds off distractions as much as a well founded and remembered plan. In planning, focus on the ‘kinds’ of actions your mentees will take and will not take. Two lists, so they can focus on the ‘will do’s’.

b] Help then see the half full part of the glass i.e. be an optimist that what they want to do can be done. Identify a role model.

c] Then ‘cheerlead’ them to success. This is when you remind them that they can do it because they’ve seen it in their objectives and they’re optimistic it can be done.

Your future will be very complicated. Lots of people, technology and constant change. If you have a mentor use them to help develop a good looking scenario for yourself. When we have the right images in our minds we’ve gotten to first base. Only then can we continue around the bases to develop the know how that will get us to the scenario we relish.

Use your mentor to continuously help you refocus on your scenario, help you feel optimistic that it can be achieved [identify a role model of someone else who's done it] and cheerlead you towards success.

I’ve recently been researching how to be a good mentor. Mentoring is different than coaching and training. Coaching is about polishing skills people already have. Training is about helping people learn how to do new things. Mentoring is about helping others navigate the organizational culture, effectively handling the ‘slides, snakes and ladders’.

Tip number 1 is to do more than just talk. Help your mentee do things that will raise their profile and capabilities. For example that might be getting them on a special committee or doing some continuing education – either giving or getting. That’s the kind that enlarges their perspective and foundation.

Assumptions are quite often a missing link in the planning process.
The benefit of putting assumptions in your plans is that they provide
for another way to prepare for unforeseen events.

In my coaching I often do a Potential Problem Analysis with clients. A
way to generate a better list of potential problems is to define the
assumptions that support the plan.

Assumptions typically relate to how others will react to some planned
action. So preparing for a variety of reactions allows for a better
response to events.

This comes from the Leadership IQ Consultancy in a study that examined SMART goals.They concluded that goals ought to be HARD.

Heartfelt: My goals will enrich the lives of somebody besides me.

Animated: I can vividly picture how great it will feel when I achieve my goals.

Required: My goals are absolutely necessary to help this company.

Difficult: I will have to learn new skills and leave my comfort zone to achieve my assigned goals for this year.

Good goals meet the criteria noted in the acronym SMART.

Specific:  Goals ought to speak of expected outcomes.  For example you would indicate the names of individuals you want as referral sources or names of companies you want as clients.

Measurable: You want to be able to declare success or failure at the end of your plan.  Use numbers in your goals so you can compare actual results against plan.  When you come up short you can adjust your plan for the next period.

Actionable: Make sure that the goals you set allow for actions that can be taken to achieve the goals.  Often goals are too general or grand to be actionable.

Relevant:  Make sure that the goals are meaningful for you.  Set goals you really want to achieve.

Timely: Goals should have a deadline.  This adds the idea of “by when” to measurable.